When we are still in our pubescent stage, we dreamed of having our first kiss under the mistletoe, our first sex in a romantic island with someone we love, and our first I Love You uttered in a magical and oh-so romantic place. Thanks to all the romantic books and chick lit movies out there that made us all hopeless romantics.
But I am not saying that it’s wrong to dream about these wonderful things. However, let us not forget that there are times, which we don’t get the luxury of getting what we want. So why can’t our first times, no matter what is it, be perfect? Here are three reasons why:
First times are new experiences that you don’t have an idea about.
Obviously, tagging an experience as “first time” means you’ve never done something like it before. You are not fully aware about the details, the feelings and the whatnots that it entails. Because it is new, you are oblivious to what it will be or how it will feel. So you can’t really judge something to be perfect if you don’t have something to compare it with. This being said, we are exposed to different possibilities. We can’t expect that everything will turn out right on our first try. We need a lot of practice to make it at least very good.
Nothing is perfect.
The word perfect is a vague word. You can use it anyway you want. But we can’t fully and confidently affirm its value. It is something supreme. It is the highest of the highest. It means there is nothing wrong. We all know nothing is perfect. Having something so perfect is already a flaw in itself. Therefore, we can’t fully expect our first times to be perfect when in fact nothing in this world is.
We are bound to get disappointed because of our own expectations.
Sometimes, you even don’t have an idea that such thing or such experience exists. But most of the time, because of our prior experiences or learning, we tend to imagine things that we would like to happen to us. In our attempt to imagine that thing happening to us, we tend to create expectations. Then, after some time, we unconsciously raise our expectations. This leads us closer to the disappointment department.
But who can’t blame us? We are wired to expect and imagine of the possible good things in life. We are bound to think of wonderful memories for our first times that we unconsciously do not consider bad things from happening.
As The Real Carrie Bradshaw said, “Love is something we wait for. We imagine our first kiss, our first sex, our first I Love You. We never imagine our first heartbreak. Maybe because it’s too painful to even imagine. But in a way the pain of love is what truly changes us.”
First times, no matter how imperfect they can be, can still be memorable and wonderful. No matter how good or bad they are, they will still be a part of us and will be remembered forever. First times are new experiences, new discoveries, new learning that can make us better for the second time. We may fail at first, but it doesn’t mean that we have to stop and try again. Furthermore, no matter how imperfect first times can be, we still have the power to make it perfect. Just believe that something so imperfect can still be beautiful and worth remembering.