I know many of us have fallen in love and got hurt. And despite getting hurt, some of us still continue to love again. I, for one, have fallen deeply in love with someone. Unfortunately, that someone doesn’t feel the same way with me. It’s a little heartbreaking, but everything is OK now. I’ve not fully moved on, for I still remember him. But I am passed the pain. I can say that all is well now. But despite all the pain and rejection I have felt in loving someone, I have learned and realized important things about love. I know this is just a little consolation. But, getting something good and positive from a heartbreaking experience is a little relieving.
You cannot love without sacrificing
I know that everyone already knows this hard truth. Whether it is your time, career, friends or even family, there is something you have to let go in order to fully have something that you love. I know it’s a little bit unfair, but I guess that’s just how the world works when it comes to love. Whether we like it or not, we have to give up something or even a part of us to the person we love or to the relationship we have, to make it work. It is inevitable. It is an inescapable bargain. Because if you are just on the receiving end in a relationship, it is not love, it is mere possession. It is selfishness.
It’s not just happy moments, there are also those trying times
When we fall in love, we imagine all the wonderful and magical things with that person. All the kisses, the hugs, the laughter and shared happy times. But we rarely think about the conflicts and confrontations that we might encounter during the relationship. We unconsciously suppress all the negative things that might happen during the relationship because we are too occupied with our little bundle of happiness together. And so, when bad times come, you are hit very hard. I’m not saying that we should be pessimistic about love. What I’m trying to point out is to accept that such hard times are part and parcel of a relationship and we should always be ready to accept them.
Losing yourself is not part of the deal
Many relationships fail because people tend to lose who they really are when they are so caught up in the relationship. They give up almost everything for the person without thinking about themselves. They become selfless and so giving.
There is nothing wrong about giving your whole self to the person you love. Loving someone with all your heart and being is wonderful and really flattering. But it is also dangerous. You become empty and incomplete. When you love, it is important to leave something for yourself.
Being fully ready to love
After recognizing these irrevocable truths, the next question is, are we prepared for all these? People fail in love and relationship because they don’t recognize these truths. There are some who acknowledged these things, but they still fail because they are not ready on how to deal with these things.
In reality, I think, it is not a question of “am I ready to fall in love”, it is more of, “am I ready to give up something? Am I ready to be with the person through thick and thin? Will I be able to love him without compromising my own life?”
Perhaps the reason we fail in love is simply because we are not yet ready for all these. We are not ready to give up our time, career, friends or even family. We are not ready to face the trials and conflicts. Or we don’t know how to handle such trying times. We may also get lost in the relationship that we forgot about ourselves and become empty in the end.
I know that all these considerations are too much to handle. But these are realities that we should be prepared to face when we decided to share our life with someone.
There are no perfect relationship, no perfect lovers. People just love and get hurt. So if we are brave enough to face these realities, then I guess we are ready for love. #lessthanthree