I’ve never really been in a normal romantic date with someone. I do go out with my guy friends from time to time to watch movie and grab some coffee. But these are “technically” friendly night outs and late catch ups that do not involved any romantic whatnots. So I won’t really consider them “dates”.
I know, I’m not the only person in the world who have not experienced a real date, so before we get too caught up with the love month fever, here are some of the reasons, why date is very elusive for me or for some.
1. You don’t know how to flirt.
We have to admit that flirting is necessary to get someone’s attention and to show that you are interested. But it’s not easy, especially if you are a woman. However, we are now in the 21st century, men are not the only one who can initiate simple talks. Women also now have that social power to approach someone they find cute and try to make a conversation without breaking some social norms. So don’t deprived that cute guy of your sweet smile.
2. For you, there is nothing more awkward and nerving than dates
Whenever you are alone with someone, especially with someone you like, you get nervous. Your heart keeps beating so fast and loud that your mind seems to stop working and you end up doing crazy things. You get clumsy. You stutter. You say and do stupid things. Then, everything gets awkward and you are left in that pit of embarrassment. However, no matter how nerving dates are, the best thing you can do is relax and just enjoy the moment. Be yourself and don’t try to be someone you are not. Besides, you are not just the only person feeling this way, your date is, perhaps, a bit antsy too.
3. You don’t see yourself romantically with someone.
Thoughts are powerful. They can be realized. Now, if you can’t picture yourself with someone, it will be hard for you to be in a date. Because you’ll be having all these reasons why you cannot without giving yourself an opportunity why you can. Dating is a choice. It is OK if you are not ready to go out. But don’t deprived yourself of experiencing it.
4. You’d rather stay at home than go out.
I understand that some of us need to stay at home and be in our pajamas all day. After a week of work, we deserve that. We know our priorities. And right now, going out with someone is not a part of this priority list. However, If we continue to have this kind of mindset, we will surely end up being that certified undateable chick.
There will be a lot of weekends that will come in our lives, but there won’t be enough “opportunity dates” for us for that long. The night is young, so say yes to that coffee night out with him and see what happens.
5. You think you are not ready
How will you know if you’re not ready, if you have not tried it? And if you have tried it then realized you are not ready, it doesn’t mean that you will close all doors and windows of dating opportunity in your life. Your previous dates may have given you a bad experience, but not all dates are bad. Perhaps it was not just meant to be perfect that time. If you continue to have this kind of thoughts, then you will surely have hard time being with someone.
Dating is part of our quest in finding the right partner that we could spend the rest of our lives with. However, not all of us have that power to survive a simple date. Whether you think you are dateable or undateable, it doesn’t really matter. The thing is, you should not deprive yourself of meeting that someone just because you think you can’t. Don’t also defend yourself by having unreasonable excuses. You may have a lot of reasons why you think you are undateable, but these reasons won’t help you to increase your chances of finally meeting that right person.