[SPECIAL POST] A letter to my 2014 self

Dearest 2014 self,

Wow. Good job! You made it in one piece. I know you enjoyed 2014 so much. I have seen it in all the things that you have achieved and the new things that you were able to experience and have.

First, I would like to commend you for passing again the civil service exam. If you have not been an idiot for not realizing you can actually take the professional level without going for the sub-pro, you won’t have to repeat that tedious process. But still, congratulations for passing!

This year, you were also lucky to have an approved manuscript. It was actually a big step for you and your supposed “writing career”. I can still remember how upset you were whenever you received that rejection email. But I am just happy that these have not stopped you from writing. And with one story published, I know that you will keep on writing more wonderful and interesting stories, not for everyone, but for yourself as well. (Though, I wish we could have a copy of that book).

After so many years of incessant reminders from your friends, you finally have that passport. See! It was not that hard. It was a bit expensive, though. This is one tiny step to achieve that travel-around-the-world dream.

I can’t also believe that you were able to complete that 24 books challenge and even surpass it. Fifty books in a year, that is no joke! But I know, more than the fulfillment of beating that challenge is that wonderful feeling of reading wonderful works and discovering really good authors. And this experience is something you cannot buy.

I would also like to congratulate you for launching a blog. Wow! You seriously did it! And not just one, but three blogs. Awesome! I know, that you will continue feeding these cute blogs with your shenanigans and mental brouhahas . I just wish that you would be more confident in sharing these to your friends and other people. I know you are not writing for anyone, but for yourself, however, try sharing it to others, and let’s see what they think about your work. Don’t be afraid of constructive criticism, OK?

Even though it was a bit late and rushed, I would like to commend you for launching that shotgun outreach. I know it was your dream to cook food and give it to homeless people. More than checking that item on your 2014 checklist, I know that it is the fulfillment of having to share your blessings with other people and doing it together with your friends that really matter. I know you don’t have much, but I believe that nothing is impossible with a generous heart.

But you know what is the most wonderful and unexpected thing that happened to you this year, is that you were able to meet new people. You actually made friends with total strangers. I know you are not that sociable. You are one grumpy twenteenager (twenty plus year old who still thinks she is a teenager). You can’t even give simple smiles to that cute guy you have a crush on. But you manage to have more than one friend this year! Whoo hoo!

I know you plan on learning something new this year, and you did. You did learn something new by accepting that training at work. I know it is not what you wanted and expected, but it is still something that you can add to your credentials. Though, I am not sure if you will remember this training, since you have let go all the opportunities to practice it.

I know you are not a good saver. You terribly suck at saving. You can’t even remember where your savings in the past years went, or is it because you don’t have any. Anyway, despite of this fact, you manage to get something for yourself. I understand how stars fell into your eyes when you get a hold of that camera you’ve been dreaming of your entire college life. Even that external, you never thought you’d buy. I also understand the risk you’ve taken in finally getting that phone plan. I know these are just material things, but these are concrete and tangible evidences of your hard work. They may give you fleeting happiness, but it is still happiness, nonetheless. These things are also a good sign that you can achieve other things. Just keep on dreaming and work hard on them.

And who would have thought that you would actually be involved in a mutual fund. Yes, you may not be a good saver but at least you are learning how to use your hard-earned money wisely. Just make sure you buy more stocks to further increase your investments. You might not know, you may actually retire at the age of 30. #wishfulthinking

With all these things, 2014 is indeed a good year for you. But, despite all these wonderful achievements, I know it was not an easy journey. You’ve actually experienced big bumps along the road. These bumps even made you stop and doubt your own capacity.

Remember that rejection from someone you thought is “the one”? I know the experience is no longer painful, but it left a big scar in you. Scar that will continue to remind you that you will never be that person for him. I know it’s hard to forget this. But I am hoping that you would accept this and move on. You don’t have to forget it, but you should not dwell much on it. You are a strong person, and I know this is the least problem you would probably want to think about. I just want to remind you that, there are still wonderful things that can happen after this rejection.

I know that this is not the only rejection that you have faced. You’ve been rejected many times in your career. And it was also not easy. I saw how depressed you were. But look at you now, you are good and steady as if no rejections have ever happened.

I don’t expect that all your plans will be fulfilled. But don’t get upset on things that you were not able to do. I know you became lax and lazy in completing your 2014 bucket list, and unchecked items are the result of that leniency. But you learned your lessons, and hopefully as I take over this year, I won’t do the same mistakes you did.

With all the things that you had and achieved this year, I have a huge shoe to fill. But I am not pressured in leveling up with all these accomplishments. I am actually excited to continue what you started, fulfill new plans and exceed whatever expectations you left.

You have taught me a lot of things. You inspire me to be better. You made me realized that I can do more. And I’m just excited to discover the extent of my abilities. Thank you for doing a good job in 2014. Now, it’s a new good year. Let’s enjoy it and make it more exciting!

 

Love,

Your excited and full of hope 2015 self

 

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