One of the hardest things to do in life is to say goodbye. And no matter how hard it is to say, sometimes we just NEED to do it.
I have been enjoying the company of someone these past days. And I never expected that the mere encounters with him will turn into memorable companionship. There was already a growing attachment inside of me. It was too late for me to realize that I am already too occupied about him.
It all happened in just two months. But those two months are the most challenging and disturbing two months I have ever felt so far this year. I know I should not dwell so much in the companionship that he is offering. I know it was just mere friendship, but for me, it became something more than that. So before I am fully caught in a compromising situation that is difficult to escape, I have to start ending whatever misplaced attention and feelings I have right now. But I don’t know how to end something that I am not even sure started. All I know is that I am enjoying whatever connection we have and ending it would be really painful.
It was perhaps a given opportunity when one time he said something that really upsets me. The remark was so off and a little offensive that suddenly it gave me all the reason to stop talking to him. That simple action really got me hurt and struck me so hard that have woken me up from the fantasy I am in.
And before any fantasy or good feeling starts to come back again, I have to start being realistic and open my feeling to him. And it ends up in saying goodbye.
The truth is I don’t want to say goodbye yet. Even though I was just the one having feelings, I still want to continue whatever the thing we have. But it was too late, I already said my disappointments and goodbyes to him. It was very sudden and I know he will be shocked by my sudden action. But I made sure that I have explained everything so he won’t be clueless with what had hit him.
I was anxious for his reaction. I don’t know if he’ll get angry, sad or disappointed. But based on his reaction, I felt the regret on his part for doing that. I know it was not his intention to offend or give that off putting remark, but it was too late, I was already hurt.
I said my goodbye late that night, and he said his in the morning. And it was one of the saddest mornings in my life so far.
I believed that goodbyes are not supposed to be painful. They are actually an opportunity for new beginnings. But no matter how optimistic I am about goodbyes right now, there are just goodbyes that are painful. And these are the goodbyes that end ties.
The thing about goodbye is that it is never a one-man thing. I do believe that goodbyes in any kind of form or relationship should be mutual. Both people should have a mutual agreement and understanding that everything has ended. If not, it will just become an unfinished business for the other person. And I was just happy that we have agreed that it was indeed an end between us.
I will admit that there is a little regret inside me for doing it all of a sudden. But if I didn’t do it right now, I may not be able to do it ever, or I may have done it in a more painful way that could even break our friendship. However, what I don’t regret are the moments and encounters I had with him. I did enjoy his company and I am happy and thankful that at some point in my life, I was able to have a memorable encounter with him.
I guess that is one of the good things about goodbyes. It may end something, but it will not leave you empty. It will give you memories, and no matter how painful or wonderful those memories are, they become a part of you.
I know that you also bade someone goodbye, why don’t you share it below at the comment box? #lessthanthree