Recently, I found out that my cousin is pregnant with her second child. This should not surprise me knowing that she has been married for almost three years. However, the news surprised me in ways that I did not expect. I was really shocked. Then I realized that it was not her pregnancy that shocked me but how things have changed so fast.
I can’t help but trace back the times I have spent with this cousin of mine. Ten years ago, we were still playing baseball in a vacant lot near their house. Sometimes, we ride bikes and journey around the subdivision. There are times, when we just stayed in the house and watch our favorite cartoons or TV series. It’s as if all these memories just happened yesterday. And now, here she is, expecting her second baby.
My friend also shared her experienced when she attended her classmate’s wedding. She, just like me, can’t seem to fathom how fast things have changed around her. The classmate she once shared her notes, not long ago, is now carrying a sleeping child. The other friend she used to go out with during lunch is already waiting for her boyfriend’s marriage proposal. And the topics about crushes and dreams during their college days were suddenly replaced by discussions about marriage and family.
There is nothing wrong about settling down and having your own family. We will soon have to go to this stage. However, for a 20-something woman, getting married or having family is just too early.
I am turning 23 this year. And I am proud to say that I am still at the no-boyfriend-since-birth zone. I don’t have any idea on how it feels to be in a relationship. Not that I am not interested but as of now, my priority does not go within the boundaries of any romantic commitment.
I am only young once. And at this point I would like to take all the opportunities that life gives. I want to explore and learn new things even take risks.
I don’t care if my friends decided to get married or get pregnant. In fact, I am happy for them for being brave to take that next level in their life. However, I just can’t help but feel disappointed with how fast things have turned for them. But again, it is not my life and my business to mind.
It only shows that their priorities are different from mine. And it’s very inconsiderate of me to force them with the things that I believe. Since they are my friend, I just wanted them to have a good life that they rightfully deserve.
I cannot find any trace of regrets in their faces with the decision that they made, so far. They seem to be happy with their new family and for this I cannot be happier for them.
As for me, I will continue on with my life. I have a career to pursue and a good future to plan. If I’m wise enough, I can use all the time I have right now to do the things that I want. Aside from my parents and sister, I don’t have someone to think about. I am free. I may sound selfish, but what can I do? I have all the freedom that I want.
Though sometimes being free makes you lonely, still, it is something you cannot easily get back once you decided to tie yourself in a long-term commitment. And I am not ready to give up whatever freedom I have right now.
“But everybody’s changing, and I don’t feel the same.”
Sharing this wonderful song to everyone.