Fucks and shits: What swearing taught me

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When I was young, I don’t understand why people curse. No matter how I think about it, I find it very uncool to use people’s private parts and other colloquial and offensive words to express one’s feelings or emotions. When people curse I can’t help but change the way I think about them. That is why I promised myself that I will never utter a single curse no matter what.

But shits do happen.

Yes, the younger me who once abhor offensive words people use to express their frustrations or delight was buried deep down under.

I now curse but not the hard core curses we know in which the whole sentence is full of it that we barely understand what the other person is saying anymore.

I usually say “shit”, when I’m frustrated, happy, sad, excited, amazed or whenever I feel like saying it. I don’t remember the time when I started cursing. But I do remember the feeling of using it for the first time. It was really awkward and weird.

I still remember the shocked faces of my friends whenever I swear out of the blue. My parents are no different. But later on, people around me got used to it and I was even able to influence my mom to say “shit” when she is frustrated with something.

Well, I’m still a newbie compared to those who spit curses out in every conversation they have. But at some point, being a curser myself I suddenly understand why some people curse.

Cursing is not just about being cool or letting out your frustrations or your extreme feelings over something. I realized that sometimes cursing can calm you down.

I usually panicked when I spilled coffee into my table or into my clothes or someone’s table or clothes. I panicked and try to mend whatever damage I unintentionally created. But now, once I accidentally spilled something I just unconsciously curse and let out a deep sigh. That act somehow allows me to cool down and be more aware of the situation instead of panicking and rummaging around wishing that everything did not happen.

On the other hand, when I am excited I tend to curse to show extreme emotion. It’s true that words like “wow that is amazing” or “that is so wonderful” can describe what I am feeling at the moment. However the feeling is different when I say, “Shit! That is fucking amazing!”. There is more emotion and the impact is greater than saying it with plain words.

Cursing I realized at some point, makes us true to ourselves.

Moreover, I realized that cursing is way better than inflicting physical pain to someone who hurt you. There is no guilt that you may have killed the person.

I’m not saying that we all should use offensive words just to relay our feelings. Shit, fuck and other curse words are just words. They don’t really have a meaning or value unless we give them the power to have meaning and value over us.

I understand that sometimes it is not good to hear someone say such mean things especially if it is directed to you. However, it is up to the receiver on how he/she will take it.

Before, I really feel bad about people who swear, but that is because I let their words have power over me. I don’t understand it at all and I just let myself absorb everything that I hear. But now that I understand there is really no problem whether a person curses or not.

Moreover, it is not the swearing or cursing the basis of telling if the person is good or not. It is unfair to judge a person base on the words he/she chooses and uses.

However, though we have the freedom to use the kind of language we want, still we should be responsible enough to choose words properly. There is a right time and place for everything even for words. To avoid confusion and misunderstanding that usually leads to futile confrontations or unnecessary arguments we should be wise enough to choose our words properly.

Moreover words once uttered are not something that we can get back or retract. Even though words are just words, they can still inflict pains that are not easily mended.

 

Allow me to share this conversation I had with my friend.

Friend: What is your dream?

Me: (serious) My dream is to become a princess.

Friend: That is BULLSHIT. Be more realistic!

Me: (serious) Ok. My dream is to become a CUTE princess.

Friend: (irritated) That is MORE BULLSHIT!

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