It was the start of the new academic year, and I was in fifth grade when I first wrote a letter about how I dislike my new teacher. I don’t have any grudge or ill-feeling towards her, I just don’t like her style of teaching and wished that I belong in a better class. Due to some unforeseen events, she found out about the letter.
It may just be a simple letter about the disappointments of a delinquent juvenile. But thinking about it, that letter has tarnished the credibility of not just a public school teacher but of the whole public education system in this country.
After some meeting, counseling and apologies my parents decided to transfer me to another school. This decision has turned my life in 360 degrees.
I am fully aware that what I did was wrong and mean. However, I don’t remember ever feeling regretful about it. On the contrary, I am somewhat thankful that it did happen. That incident and the succeeding events that happened have led me to exert more efforts in becoming a better student.
My new school, oblivious to what I did, has supported, motivated and pushed me to be the best. In my new environment, I was able to find the kind of education that I was expecting at my former school. There were a lot of opportunities for me that I never thought I would have. For the every first time as a student, I was able to discover what I really wanted in my life.
It has been almost 15 years since that fateful incident. She is still a teacher but I am no longer a student. It is only during election time that I get to see her. During these rare occasions we are very civil and we greet each other casually.
The creases in her face and her sagging body show that she has aged. On the other hand, my glasses, stance and posture and choice of clothing show how I surpass those years as a student.
I was able to finish my secondary education in a private school and luckily, was even able to get a degree. This is pretty much a good accomplishment considering the alarming number of drop outs and undergraduates that this country has.
However, these accomplishments are not something that I can brag.
I am a mass communication graduate but I am in no way in the media industry.
Having a good paying job and a career as a writer in an outsourcing company seems not enough for me to somehow justify or save me from that experience.
Up until now, I still haven’t proven anything to that teacher.
As I am recalling those moments, and pondering on my lack of achievements, I can’t help but think that it is now one of the biggest unsettled businesses that I have in my life so far.
If given a chance, I would grab the opportunity to talk to her and settle everything. I won’t defend myself from what happened but instead, I will extend the necessary apology that should have been given before.
However, this chance seems next to impossible. It will never take place, because, first I won’t have the courage to start the conversation with her. Second, she won’t probably recall what happened because she already long ago decided to forget everything. Third, she won’t entertain such bullshit of the past.
Well, whatever it is, that incident has marked my life forever. The least thing that I can do now is to use that experience again to push myself even harder in achieving my dreams and in living a good life.
That incident has taught me a lot of things. I may have become mean during those times but it doesn’t mean that I will be a bad person in the future. I will not let that one incident define me as a person.