Don’t blame it to love



“Kasalanan bang magmahal?” (Is it a sin to fall in love?)

I suddenly remember the out-of the blue question of my best friend when we were still in high school. I actually have the idea on why she has suddenly asked the question. At that time, she has fallen in love with someone while still with her boyfriend, who is also a good friend of mine. Well, as her best friend, I sympathized and favored her, even though I know what she did is wrong.

I never thought that I would encounter the same question again. However, this time, the question was not thrown out to me, but instead to a whole community who attended a Sunday mass.

The priest has shared his own experience when he was in a salon having a haircut. According to the priest, the gay haircutter, out of the blue asked the priest the same question.

I understand the pressure that the priest must have felt as he retold the story to the whole laity. Obviously, the gay did not ask that question out of curiosity.

I have waited for the priest to continue his homily and wondered how he has approached the question, but I was surprised as he tells the whole crowd that, another gay butted in to their sudden conversation, and to his defense said, “Darating din ang tamang tao para sayo, kaya wag mo nang i-stress si father.” (Someday, the right one for you will come. So stop stressing out father.)

I laughed because the frank gay just save the priest from a lengthy conversation about morality.

In reality, no one has to answer that question. In the first place, no one should be asking that question. And yet why do we still bother people about such thing? Are we trying to get excuses from things that we know ourselves are wrong? Are we trying to get sympathy from the mistake that we are in?

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. – 1 Corinthians 13: 4-7

I have fallen in love once with the wrong person. The person that I have fallen in love with is already with somebody else. It really breaks my heart that time, and I know continuing that forbidden love will not only pain me but also an innocent girl’s heart. As much as I love the person, I decided to control myself and leave before I do something that I know I will regret for the rest of my life.

It was heartbreaking. Moving on was not at all easy. I counted years and up until now I can still feel the pain of losing that special someone. I would sometimes think of going back again with him, but I know that would be wrong and obviously unfair.

I tried to live with the decision I have made. At some point, leaving seems to liberate me of the pain I am feeling. Well, I think that’s the only consolation I get from my decision.

Instead of asking myself or someone the aforementioned question, I decided to continue with my life and focus on finishing my degree and give my best in all endeavors that I am in.

I have learned, from other people’s experiences. I know, that most of the time, love will make us irrational. Love will make us forget what is right. It will cloud our mind and would inflict a greater pain. And after that we will blame everything again to love.

Not because everyone agrees with the answer, it is considered correct. Not because everybody is doing it, it is already right. And not because everyone believes it to be right you will keep on doing it.

We may have different views about the matter. However, I believe we all know the right answer to this and what we have to do is to simply carry it out. No reason would save us from a wrong decision but to do the right thing.  


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